hair metal for bald people

I have finally come to embrace and defend the misunderstood glory of hair metal.

Gone are the days of being a closeted White Lion fan, of trumpeting to the ignorant masses the brilliance of C.C. Deville ... and his whammy bar.

Yes, I honestly believe that Nikki Sixx is Shakespeare with tatoos and when Jani Lane left Warrant - I died a little inside.

But I will hide no more. I'm too old to waste time pretending that I enjoy Radiohead. And that whiney brit-rock/New York City cool quasi-rock makes me want to bang my head ... with a ball-ping hammer.

All hail the twin-guitar solos and the spinning-drum set. All hail Aqua Net hairspray and the power ballad! All hail one-armed drummers, flaming cod pieces and pyro, pyro, pyro.

Heaven's On Fire - Indeed! Indeed!